Clik here to view.
The Coming Out Interviews, pt. 2: Mom, I’m a sex blogger
The memory’s a bit of a blur now, but almost 7 years ago, I was standing in the bathroom at my parents’ house, mentally preparing myself to tell them I had a sex blog. I knew everything would be okay...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Sex toy news: inclusive marketing and a vibrator with a butt
One of my favorite dildos — which was tragically discontinued years ago — has risen from the dead! Once known as the Tantus Splash, it’s now called the Magma and comes in a softer silicone. Hopefully...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Review: Rumble Seat
The Jimmyjane Rumble Seat in front of my sex toy closet. When you arrive at the sex party and present the guests with your vibrating sex chair, you don’t exactly want the response to be “that looks...
View ArticleClik here to view.
What, you don’t want a dildo with your boyfriend’s face on it?
Why wouldn’t you want this smug bastard smiling at you while you masturbate? He looks like the kind of guy who works in sales. Or no, tech. But he’s a team-building captain or some bullshit, so he...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Giveaway: get goth with an all black vibrator!
The last vestiges of winter are stubbornly hanging on, but I know just how to melt your frozen hearts: a sex toy giveaway! My top vibrator of last year, the Fun Factory Volta, now comes in ALL BLACK...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Review: Jellyfish 2.0 + Magma
Tantus Magma, Tantus Splash, Whipspider Rubberworks Jellyfish, Uberrime Jellyfish 2.0. Being a veteran sex toy blogger is a pretty sweet deal sometimes. I get to live to see most of my enemies...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Review: Vintage vibrators
Masturbating like it’s 1925 with the Polar Cub Electric Vibrator, Oster Massagett, and Vanguard Vibro-Massager [I published this on April Fool’s Day ’cause it’s fun, but everything here is real. I...
View ArticleClik here to view.
My big summer project: a blog overhaul
In middle school, while others played wall ball, I taught myself basic HTML. I was one of the kids staying inside during recess, because the internet was calling to me. I built countless websites on...
View ArticleClik here to view.
To all the men wanting to talk their wives into sex toys
Don’t you want them? Vixen Johnny and Magic Wand Original, coming at you. I can see through you, and I don’t like what I see. You email me under the guise of caring. Of wanting your wife to experience...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The (not so) harrowing tale of my IUD insertion
The morning of my IUD insertion began with me desperately driving across town to retrieve a sex toy. I didn’t necessarily want to masturbate, but I needed to. It had occurred to me the night before:...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Sex toy news: inclusive marketing and a vibrator with a butt
One of my favorite dildos — which was tragically discontinued years ago — has risen from the dead! Once known as the Tantus Splash, it’s now called the Magma and comes in a softer silicone. Hopefully...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Review: Rumble Seat
When you arrive at the sex party and present the guests with your vibrating sex chair, you don’t exactly want the response to be “that looks like a toilet.” But that’s where I was. I was the guy...
View ArticleClik here to view.
What, you don’t want a dildo with your boyfriend’s face on it?
Why wouldn’t you want this smug bastard smiling at you while you masturbate? He looks like the kind of guy who works in sales. Or no, tech. But he’s a team-building captain or some bullshit, so he...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Giveaway: get goth with an all black vibrator!
This giveaway has ended. Subscribe to my blog to be alerted when I launch future giveaways. The last vestiges of winter are stubbornly hanging on, but I know just how to melt your frozen hearts: a sex...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Review: Jellyfish 2.0 + Magma
Being a veteran sex toy blogger is a pretty sweet deal sometimes. I get to live to see most of my enemies disappear into the ether; I’m around as technologically-advanced sex toys become commonplace;...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Review: Vintage vibrators
I published this on April Fool’s Day ’cause it’s fun, but everything here is real. I tell no lies. The inventor of the first electrical vibrator, doctor Joseph Mortimer Granville, called his device...
View ArticleClik here to view.
My big summer project: a blog overhaul
In middle school, while others played wall ball, I taught myself basic HTML. I was one of the kids staying inside during recess, because the internet was calling to me. I built countless websites on...
View ArticleClik here to view.
To all the men wanting to talk their wives into sex toys
I can see through you, and I don’t like what I see. You email me under the guise of caring. Of wanting your wife to experience something new in the bedroom. You love her, your wife — you make sure to...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The (not so) harrowing tale of my IUD insertion
The morning of my IUD insertion began with me desperately driving across town to retrieve a sex toy. I didn’t necessarily want to masturbate, but I needed to. It had occurred to me the night before:...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Welcome to the NEW Hey Epiphora!
TODAY IS THE MOTHERFUCKIN’ DAY, PEEPS! The day I’ve been fantasizing about for months — nah, let’s round that up to years. It’s the official unveiling of my all-new, fancy-ass, fresh-as-fuck blog...
View Article
